Thursday, February 17, 2011

Real Talk

If you were born after 1983 and you are writing a poem about Jack Kerouac, if he isn't getting torn apart by great white sharks then your poem is probably stupid.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

We Are In a Taco Bell

We were once not in a Taco Bell. But in a Taco Bell she says I don't know, what do you want to do. I say I want an enchirito. She says they don't have enchiritos anymore. I say are you sure and she says yes. I look at the tile floor and I think about Tetris. She is looking at a chair. When we leave we go to our own cars and drive to our own houses. When we sleep, we sleep in our own beds.

Be Like Mike

The narwhal had a horn and whenever he wanted to give someone a hug or a high five he gave them stabs instead. He would go to high five a beluga whale but instead of a high five he gave him a stab. The beluga whale said, “you stabbed me bro. what the fuck." The beluga whale stopped hanging out with the narwhal. Eventually all the sea creatures stopped hanging out with the narwhal, because of the stabs. The narwhal watched youtube videos of Michael Jordan dunking. He did this because it was the only thing he could do. On a forum dedicated to youtube videos of Michael Jordan dunking, he left a post. The post said, “I wish I could be like Michael Jordan. I wish I could have arms and legs and not flippers and horns.” User s-pippen saw this. User s-pippen was a unicorn, and she cried. She thought, I want hands and feet. I could do so many things if I only had hands and feet.