Saturday, January 28, 2012


This was published in Matchbox Magazine Issue V at UCSC. It was published as short fiction. A scan of the page can be found on my tumblr: Rawr.

The velociraptor says ‘rawr’ and dances to lady gaga. Her tail keeps hitting everyone but it is okay because they are all dancing too and singing along. The words they say aren’t really words but almost words that sound like nothing. All together, they are drunk. Drunk, the velociraptor sees a boy. On the couch gripping a cup the boy wears shoes and looks at his feet. The velociraptor sits next to the boy and wants to feel carnivorous. She says ‘rawr’. She tries to kiss him but instead she eats his head and upper torso. Inside her mouth she runs her tongue between his heart and lungs and tonsils and frontal lobe and thinks the word ‘delicious’. She thinks the word ‘nutritious’ but then feels exceptionally alone with no more boy left to eat. The boy’s lower torso says ‘splort’ and topples off the couch politely. On the ground, the lower torso says ‘splurt’ and bleeds on the carpet. Michelle and Yukiko see this. Their expressions are analog emoticons. ‘This girl, this girl is a wild girl’ they say and then they kiss each other and kiss other people and say ‘crazy girl’ and they all look very proud and happy. Then a plesiosaur comes through the front door and says ‘mrooo’ and wears sunglasses even though it is like, midnight. The plesiosaur high fives everyone with his flippers. The velociraptor hates him immediately. She walks outside now away from other people. Outside, sitting on the curb, she remembers sitting on this curb and not being alone. She looks at the moon and thinks about being twelve. She thinks about astronauts. She thinks about a lot of things. She says‘rawr’. A little while later she goes home, and doesn’t fall asleep until the sun is almost setting the next day.

Infinity is Boring Maybe

This was published in Matchbox Magazine Issue V at UCSC. It was published as poetry. Scan of the page on my tumblr: Infinity is Boring Maybe

i want to live forever in space without air or water
in space alone forever i want to die when i think about cheeseburgers
in safeway alone briefly i buy a sandwich and a thingy of creampuffs
in a house together with other people we eat garlic bread and talk about girls
i want to live briefly in a house with girls and creampuffs

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

John Keats

John Keats was reincarnated as a whale. He ate krill for every meal. He played and jumped in the air. He didn’t think about death. One day he jumped too high in the air and he landed on Jonathan Franzen. Jonathan Franzen was killed instantly. The people who saw this said, “Holy shit, that’s John Keats.” The whale said, “ooooooooooooohm.” The whale was brought to poetry readings around the country. At the poetry readings, the whale said, “ooooooooooooohm.” The readings made audiences feel their possessions were evil. They emailed each other about how they wanted to destroy their possessions. They got tired of talking about it and they burned everything. They burned Xbox 360s and they burned cartons of non-dairy creamer. But when everything was gone, the people were sad. They asked the whale, “What do we do without Xbox 360s? What do we do without non-dairy creamer?” The whale didn’t care what they were saying. All the whale could do was think about death and say, “ooooooooooooohm.”

Tuesday, March 8, 2011


The room is completely empty except for us and everything else in it. At first we tried talking to each other, but there was only so much we could say. Since we were done talking we played checkers. It was something to do instead of being dead. Being alive, we played chess. I won at Mortal Kombat, but not Street Fighter. She won at tetherball, but not foursquare. I won at Starcraft, but not Settlers of Catan. We got tired of playing in nothing, so we built houses, and then cities. We made them out of cardboard and construction paper, and we walked around in nothing and said that it was something. We split our souls into many smaller souls. These souls had little feet and little hearts. They fit inside the cities, and when they looked around all they saw was construction paper and cardboard. They said, “this is something.” But when they left their homes, they saw the nothing. They built a sky to block out the nothing, and they held an annual prom, so they could do something every spring. At the prom, they are making eye contact. He looks at her eyes through her glasses. He wants to touch her, but there are so many things.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Real Talk

If you were born after 1983 and you are writing a poem about Jack Kerouac, if he isn't getting torn apart by great white sharks then your poem is probably stupid.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

We Are In a Taco Bell

We were once not in a Taco Bell. But in a Taco Bell she says I don't know, what do you want to do. I say I want an enchirito. She says they don't have enchiritos anymore. I say are you sure and she says yes. I look at the tile floor and I think about Tetris. She is looking at a chair. When we leave we go to our own cars and drive to our own houses. When we sleep, we sleep in our own beds.

Be Like Mike

The narwhal had a horn and whenever he wanted to give someone a hug or a high five he gave them stabs instead. He would go to high five a beluga whale but instead of a high five he gave him a stab. The beluga whale said, “you stabbed me bro. what the fuck." The beluga whale stopped hanging out with the narwhal. Eventually all the sea creatures stopped hanging out with the narwhal, because of the stabs. The narwhal watched youtube videos of Michael Jordan dunking. He did this because it was the only thing he could do. On a forum dedicated to youtube videos of Michael Jordan dunking, he left a post. The post said, “I wish I could be like Michael Jordan. I wish I could have arms and legs and not flippers and horns.” User s-pippen saw this. User s-pippen was a unicorn, and she cried. She thought, I want hands and feet. I could do so many things if I only had hands and feet.